Valentine's Day can be complicated, but it doesn't have to be.
Valentines day is this month and as someone who writes a love and sex column and has had her fair share of Valentine's gone wrong and right, the worst thing you can do is set your expectations too high – or too low.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
Greeting cards and some pretty spectacular romantic comedies have brainwashed you to expect a five-star meal, great sex, and the love of your life to reveal themselves every February 14, but life doesn't always work that way.
Whether you're single or booed up, v-day can be a fun date night, a galentines day with friends , or just another day of the week.
The Achilles heel of the holiday is putting too much pressure on it or not applying enough.
Communication, planning and some realistic expectations can save you from a lot of disappointment and even make it a night to remember.
Here are five things you should never do on Valentine's Day if you want to make the most of the holiday.
Never go on a first date
Valentine's Day is for committed couples, friends, or self-care.
Going on a first date on February 14 is equivalent to smashing seven mirrors in the dating world.
There's too much pressure, and getting to know someone new is already stressful enough without your waiter asking, "How long have you two been together?"
Dinner reservations will be a nightmare to get, and you'll overpay for a Valentine's Day special menu that you wish you could escape after the second course.
Trust me, wait until February 16 after the madness calms down to date it up.
Don't celebrate if you're not exclusive
Friends with benefits, casual hookups, and situation-ships, I'm looking at you.
Do not buy your sneaky link a teddy bear and a box of chocolates if you're not positive you are both on the same page.
My rule of thumb is if you're not exclusive, just sail past this holiday, and you can catch it next year if you're still seeing each other.
Don't try and hook up at a bar
I get it. The holidays can get lonely, but you don't need to go hunting for a hookup.
Nothing smells more like desperation than a group of people at the bar clobbering to go home with each other on February 14 – I promise you you'll find better prospects another day.
That being said, if you go out with your friends without the intention of meeting someone and cupid strikes, by all means, let your freak flag fly.
Just don't go out looking for something to fill the void of your romantic melancholy.
Don’t set unrealistic expectations without communicating them
If you want an over-the-top Valentine's Day with a fancy dinner, a five-star hotel room and crushed rose petals, the more power to you, but you have to put in the work.
Romance on Valentine's Day doesn't happen with a flick of a wand, so tell your partner what you want and give them the opportunity to plan in advance or take charge yourself.
Book those reservations and make sure everyone is on board with the vision.
Don't wait until the last minute
Please do not ask your partner what they want to do the morning of February 14.
You won't be able to book anything, and it basically makes you look like you put zero thought into the holiday.
If you didn't plan ahead, buy some grocery store flower bouqet and sweet treats and drop them off, or if you live together, bring them home and make a nice dinner.
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