Some traditions are best left in the past, especially if they fail to evolve.
One woman on Reddit shared an example of such a tradition practiced by her future in-laws, and she refused to partake in the backward family custom.
In a post on the popular Reddit forum Am I T he A**hole, the woman asked if she was wrong for refusing to honour her boyfriend's family's tradition and people had a lot to say.
The Redditor explained that after three years of dating, she and her boyfriend were finally looking into taking the next step in their relationship by looking at homes to move into as well as engagement rings.
During their last visit to her boyfriend's home country, the couple was having dinner with his family during which they shared their plans with them.
"His parents and brothers expressed their happiness for us then, out of nowhere his youngest SIL [sister-in-law] asked 'so is she going to take the test?'” reads the post.
Confused by the question, the Reddit user inquired about the test and that’s when the family unloaded their very unprogressive family tradition on her.
“In summary, bf's family has this tradition where the future MIL tests future daughters-in-law to see if they are good enough for her sons,” the Reddit user explained. "Apparently, his mother and aunts went through the same test.”
The test basically judges how good of a housewife the soon-to-be bride would be, including her skills in cooking, cleaning, and manners.
The Reddit user found the test “ridiculous” for obvious reasons and refused to take it.
The woman made it clear that she has no intention of quitting her career and is not interested in doing house chores.
“I hate house chores, and I would rather buy homemaking gadgets and hire staff no matter the cost than have to do chores myself,” she wrote.
When she told her boyfriend's mother all this, it caused an argument that eventually ruined dinner and their visit.
Where does the boyfriend stand in all of this?
He thinks the Reddit user should have just bit her tongue and taken the test for the sake of the “fun tradition that everyone was looking forward to.”
The woman's boyfriend was also the one who suggested that she make a post about the incident on the Reddit page, assuming people would be on his side.
However, that definitely backfired since the common consensus reached by the majority of people was that the woman wasn't the one who was wrong in the situation
One commenter asked, “he thinks it a fun tradition for women marrying into the family to be judged on their 'skills' in traditional, old-fashioned gender-conforming roles? Fine. let HIM take a test.”
The commenter then listed a hefty set of ‘manly’ tasks that the boyfriend should do to prove he’s apt enough to take on the role of a husband, including rotating tires and his plumbing skills.
The commenter ended the post by saying, “what an obnoxious family,” and reassuring the woman that she is “not the a**hole.”
“No chance would I have accepted this nonsense,” another commenter wrote. “My free time is valuable. Spending it proving myself to folks who should accept me unconditionally is not even close to making the cut.”
Another person wrote that the boyfriend was “failing the 'man' test” by failing to “step up and keep his family in check.”
The commenter wrote, “I think it’s a huge red flag in the relationship that he is not defending you against his family, and leaving you hanging on this sexist bull.”
Another user asked, “what test is your boyfriend going to take to prove he’s good enough for you?”
While some might view this tradition as a fun way to test the future daughter-in-law's abilities, a lot of others see it as an invasion of privacy and a demeaning practice. It also raises questions about gender roles and the expectations placed on women in certain cultures and families.
In the end, the woman decided not to take the test and stood her ground, and it’s safe to say a lot of people are on her side.
She also edited her original post to say that she was not mentioning her boyfriend's home country as it "may or may not bring up some unwanted arguments" and clarified that the test was a "family tradition" and not one based on culture.
This article's cover image was used for illustrative purposes only.
A Woman Refused To Do A 'Test' For Her Future In-Laws & The Rules Are So 'Obnoxious'
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